I, Rose Hilal, have always underestimated the power of writing until today. I just needed to write that down and to express myself.
I’m a 32-year-old SINGLE black woman and it seems to be a problem for the major part of my entourage. Please let me break that down for you. I guess people just LOVE reminding me how single I am - and potentially how sad I must be - in case I have forgotten that myself.
It started years ago ... On a beautiful sunny day, I met one of my childhood classmates. A really nice young lady who, at that time just got married. For some reason, she asked me if I had someone - someone like a boyfriend - unfortunately for me I said NO. Guess what fam, the girl has a theory (Please READ carefully). Apparently, I did not have a boyfriend at 23/24 years old because I was studying too much.... Well... mmmh... Do you know what? I was SPEECHLESS.
1st - what’s the relation between studying and being single?
2nd - when did I ever mention needing a counsellor?
3rd - Did she feel free to give me non welcomed advice just because she was married?
I could give you more and more juicy stories like this one - I may actually add some more later.
But this is nothing compare to what I’m about to tell you. When your family gets involved... I’m still looking for a new country to move to... Anyway, in my family, I have those who will tell you directly what they think. Like straight to the point, no filter! This could give things like “ you’re beautiful when you put some makeup with high heels” or “You should wear more dresses and lose some weight. Trust me you’ll find your soulmate that way" and “ d’you know Xxx she wanted to come with you to this wedding. Just to help you to be more open and pick the right man” and so on ... Sometimes I laugh, otherwise I cry and sometimes I see myself as a successful author of a Netflix comic series (about my life obviously). To be honest most of the time I cry. Do you know why? Because family is supposed to be your rock, your support. The ones who are here to love you first. But let me tell you something about mine, well I guess you get it. Even though I know they are not doing that on purpose - at least not with the intention to hurt me but to help - it is very painful.
One thing that works with me it’s to imagine very good music instead of what they say - mine is literally any hits of Queen Bey - smile and then thank them for the advice. Do you know why it works? Because they actually know that I didn’t pay attention to their speech but at least I was polite. So who runs the world now ??? #dropthatmic’
Sharing this is reliving. While writing it down I realised that I am stronger. Why? Because I could have spent my days crying and being obsessed about getting married. I still want to get married and raise a family, but I still want to be with the right person, and I’m not changing that for the sake of anyone. You need to keep it real in life. Anything that is destined for you will happen at a certain time. That will be the perfect time for you. Keep in mind something,
Life is not a race. You’re not late, you’re not ahead, but just on time.
So don’t overstress. Be patient. Trust yourself. Push yourself first and trust the process.
Ladies, the best is yet to come!
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